Time for some posting....
The original thought behind this blog is to be able to post my thoughts and my husband, Jeff, post his thoughts on the going-ons in our married life. We figured it would be really interesting to show two different points of view on different issues. Our initial thought was to do this once we started trying to have a family.
My husband and I have been married for four years and I must say that it has been pretty smooth sailing. We have dealt with moving three times, our family issues, and me having a small fender bender this past summer. Those are all minor issues and nothing I would consider major has really happened...until recently.
On March 23, I was laid off from my job. It wasn't due to my performance it was due to the lack of work. Often times when dealing with a company it comes down to the bottom line. Unfortunately that bottom line caused me to lose my job.
I handled the whole thing as it went down rather well considering the circumstances. Granted I was rather upset, and angry, and furiously shaking the whole time. I managed not to cry too much during the whole ordeal. It was hard not to go into hysterical crying because this didn't affect me it affected my family. I did throw and by throw I mean hurl all of my personal affects from my office into a box. I'm surprised I didn't break anything. Also, the last words I said to my boss was, "I'm pissed!" Now granted I'm sure people in the same situation said much worse. I instant messaged my husband at work real quick and told him that I had to go that I was fired. He then called me, I told him what happened and he left work. I told him he didn't have to, but he came home because of course he then had a lot own his mind and I know he came home to support me.
On the way home I managed to drive calmly somehow or the other. I beat my husband home and just started crying in the car. I was still crying when he pulled into the garage. He came and pulled me out of the car and we went inside our house. I then stood in Jeff's arms in the middle of the living and just started crying. Big, loud, hysterical sobs. Then I went and threw myself on the bed and just kept going. Jeff was by my side the whole time. Once I got all of that out I was able to tell him how I was feeling. That I felt betrayed by my company. I felt that I failed myself and I felt that I let Jeff down. I know that's not true, but it's just how I feel.
I went and applied for unemployment, something I never thought I'd ever have to do. I think I ended up crying the whole time I filled out the paperwork. It was so hard to do that. Now I find myself without much to do during the day. I get up and I make sure I shower, and get ready for the day. If I didn't do that I don't think I'd make it out of bed. I just have to get up and go. I've been actively looking for jobs. Jobs in my field are rather scarce around here. So now we are considering a move to Pittsburgh. That way Jeff could stay with his company and I could be in an area with more job security. Just getting there is the hard part. I've had several interviews, but haven't heard anything back from any yet. Waiting is so hard to do.
A couple other things I've been doing is working out like a fiend. I just go to my gym and work out all of my frustrations. I think that's been really helpful thus far. I've also been volunteering at my dance studio. I feel helpful there and it's been giving me a sense of purpose.
I'm trying not to be too down. I'm trying not to mope or feel sorry for myself. I don't want to bother Jeff in anyway. I want to do my best to find a job and show him that I'm trying that I'm not just loafing around watching my stories and eating bon bons on the couch. He's been so supportive through this and for that I'm so grateful.
I think that maybe this is for the best. At least I hope it's for the best. But right now the whole situation just gets to me. I hope that one day Jeff and I can look back at this and say, "Remember that time when you lost your job? Whew I'm glad we got through it."
My husband and I have been married for four years and I must say that it has been pretty smooth sailing. We have dealt with moving three times, our family issues, and me having a small fender bender this past summer. Those are all minor issues and nothing I would consider major has really happened...until recently.
On March 23, I was laid off from my job. It wasn't due to my performance it was due to the lack of work. Often times when dealing with a company it comes down to the bottom line. Unfortunately that bottom line caused me to lose my job.
I handled the whole thing as it went down rather well considering the circumstances. Granted I was rather upset, and angry, and furiously shaking the whole time. I managed not to cry too much during the whole ordeal. It was hard not to go into hysterical crying because this didn't affect me it affected my family. I did throw and by throw I mean hurl all of my personal affects from my office into a box. I'm surprised I didn't break anything. Also, the last words I said to my boss was, "I'm pissed!" Now granted I'm sure people in the same situation said much worse. I instant messaged my husband at work real quick and told him that I had to go that I was fired. He then called me, I told him what happened and he left work. I told him he didn't have to, but he came home because of course he then had a lot own his mind and I know he came home to support me.
On the way home I managed to drive calmly somehow or the other. I beat my husband home and just started crying in the car. I was still crying when he pulled into the garage. He came and pulled me out of the car and we went inside our house. I then stood in Jeff's arms in the middle of the living and just started crying. Big, loud, hysterical sobs. Then I went and threw myself on the bed and just kept going. Jeff was by my side the whole time. Once I got all of that out I was able to tell him how I was feeling. That I felt betrayed by my company. I felt that I failed myself and I felt that I let Jeff down. I know that's not true, but it's just how I feel.
I went and applied for unemployment, something I never thought I'd ever have to do. I think I ended up crying the whole time I filled out the paperwork. It was so hard to do that. Now I find myself without much to do during the day. I get up and I make sure I shower, and get ready for the day. If I didn't do that I don't think I'd make it out of bed. I just have to get up and go. I've been actively looking for jobs. Jobs in my field are rather scarce around here. So now we are considering a move to Pittsburgh. That way Jeff could stay with his company and I could be in an area with more job security. Just getting there is the hard part. I've had several interviews, but haven't heard anything back from any yet. Waiting is so hard to do.
A couple other things I've been doing is working out like a fiend. I just go to my gym and work out all of my frustrations. I think that's been really helpful thus far. I've also been volunteering at my dance studio. I feel helpful there and it's been giving me a sense of purpose.
I'm trying not to be too down. I'm trying not to mope or feel sorry for myself. I don't want to bother Jeff in anyway. I want to do my best to find a job and show him that I'm trying that I'm not just loafing around watching my stories and eating bon bons on the couch. He's been so supportive through this and for that I'm so grateful.
I think that maybe this is for the best. At least I hope it's for the best. But right now the whole situation just gets to me. I hope that one day Jeff and I can look back at this and say, "Remember that time when you lost your job? Whew I'm glad we got through it."
posted by Stephanie at
10:05 PM
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